As eager as you want to write when you are happy that’s how much you have to write when you are sad. Your passion had to go somewhere. Your suffering has to be good for something.

After we experience a loss, we tend to focus on what we no longer have. As a result we focus our energy on the negative, or what is missing in our life, rather than on the positive, or all of those wonderful things we still have.

After my boyfriend died in 2014, my thoughts would be, “How can I go on with my life without him?” I thought my life’s over. Grief brought me into a feeling of emptiness, depression, and hopelessness. Despite all the negatives, my family and friends didn’t fail to comfort me. At once, I started clearing my mind of all the negative thought and had a glimpse of why I could go on living. I had a long time to consider the idea that just because something doesn’t last forever; it doesn’t mean the worth is diminished. I choose to believe in memory; I choose to believe in him, I choose to believe that the bond was never broken. I choose to believe that he never really left and that I carried him in my heart. Yes, there would be other loves, even greater love; but he claims a part in my heart no one would ever replace.

Above all, I choose to believe in God. I might not understand His plans but God knows what He is doing. The most foolish thing we can do is to ignore the pain that God allows in our life. Take time to ask God what He’s trying to tell you or what He’s trying to teach you. Pain is God’s way of getting our attention.


I have also learned that gratitude can be one of the most healing tools we have. Being grateful for what remains after you have experienced a loss can be a powerful way to deal with. Turning your attention on how your life was enriched because that person was in it. Think of all the lessons you learned from them. Be thankful that their spirit still lives within you.

Grief takes time and it cannot be rushed. Yet we can comfort ourselves by knowing, in time, it will get better. And if you let it, it will make you into a deeper, more loving person.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” -Dr. Seuss


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